Letting Them Grow

It's been a while since I've written...why? I've been parenting. I thought cubs were hard work when they were small…

When they were little they were ALWAYS with me. If I was in the car they were in their car seats. When I was grocery shopping, they were sitting in the buggy or holding to the side following along. If I wanted to watch a movie WE would end up watching children's shows. If I napped it was when they napped. When I was on the potty they were waiting outside the door knocking, talking, or crying because they NEEDED to be with me. I worked at night so I could be home during the day with them. I was always talking to, singing to, or teasing my eager fan club.

Then all too soon I was alone…

Throughout their lives I've tried to keep in mind that my little people were sent to me so I could teach them to be decent, kind, loving and self-sustaining adults. But it happened so fast one morning (before I could figure out where time had gone) they were taller than me, they were going out and experiencing the world…without me.

They've experienced their first loves and first heartaches. They're investigating who they are, and what interests them. They begin to see who their friends really are, and have been taught painful lessons from betrayal. They became self centered...to the point I've wondered if that person was my cub. Then suddenly they're a person again, and empathy returns.They keep me up to the wee hours telling me of their adventures and plans. They have made me proud, and have made decisions that have made me cry.

I have became painfully aware we have entered the part of their lives where I've become, at best, an adviser. I have realized that now I am their fan club and am coming to terms with the hardest part of parenting...letting them grow.

Making it easier to read my posts...

I call my children cubs. I do this for two reasons:
         A.) The doctors said I wouldn't be able to have "kids"so, as not to prove him wrong, I don't. I have cubs.
         B.) They were huge, num num, babies:
                                             i. 9lbs 11oz - 21&1/2 inches long (girl)
                                            ii. 11lbs - 23 & 1/2 inches long (boy)
                                           iii. 10lbs 2oz - 22 & 1/2 inches long (girl)
                                           iv. 8lbs 12oz - 21 & 1/2 inches long (girl) born 4 weeks early :)


**No I did not have gestational diabetes, and except the last one they were born on their due dates.

When I write I refer to my children as my cubs, often people have been confused and think I am a den mother for boy scouts...I am not. So I post this as an effort to clarify.

Answer Three: Captain Kirk vs. Han Solo

This question was asked by a friend I absolutely adore. He knows my nerdy side all to well, and has nurtured it through the years. He’s probably already guessed what I’ll say, but here it goes.

The answer is obvious Han Solo would totally kick Kirks butt! Why? I would think that it’s obvious, even though it’s contrary to the latest editing of Star Wars: a New Hope; any true fan knows HAN SHOT FIRST!!

I mean Captain Kirk has his awesomeness. He’s a little less cranky in crisis situations than Han, but if you really think about it while he slips off into another one of his famously dramatic monologues Han would just shot him down and move on. But that’s just what I think…

Answer two: Favorite oldest daughter of Aunt Sharon

Who is my favorite oldest daughter of my Aunt Sharon? Now I understand that my cousin Rachel was just kidding around when she posted this question, it's how she rolls, but I’d like to give her an answer. The answer is of course its YOU! But let me tell you why...

                                 

We have only met in person once, but I love you as much as I love my cousins on my mom’s side. If you had any idea how much I love them, how important THEY are to me, you would be impressed with yourself. I don’t get close to people in general, and as a rule I usually prefer my own company, but I feel close to you.

I’m grateful for Facebook because it has given us opportunity to create a bridge between Utah and Michigan. It has allowed us to discover humor IS in the DNA! I’ve found it fascinating that we have the same quirky, if not down right nerdy humor. We like and quote the same movies, and have experienced some of life’s stranger moments of being racially ambiguous. We share the same fake conceit, but true pride in who we are as wives, mothers, and daughters of God.

The thing I love most about you, and your brother Steve, is that you both have reached out to get to know me…the enigma that is Gary’s eldest child. You could never fully understand how much it means to me that you both include me, and I love you both for it. And that’s how I think…

Answer One: Rewarding A Child...

I received a question about parenting. What is my opinion about rewarding one child for a job well done in front of siblings? Do I think it’s a good idea? I say heck yeah! My theory is most parents discipline a child in front of their other children, why would you NOT want to reward a child in front of your other children?

I believe if handled correctly it can be a positive experience for the whole family. The child that receives the praise or reward for accomplishing their goal will feel validated and strive to achieve more goals. The parents acknowledge the child’s success and set a precedent with the other children by allowing them to see how awesome it is to follow through with goals, and it may inspire them to set their own goals…if handled correctly.

As a parent I try to keep in mind that all cubs are not the same, even if they share the same DNA. One of the amazing things about cubs is they are their own person with their own talents, ideas, interests, and dreams. Therefore, not all of their goals, rewards, or discipline should be expected to be the same.

The great thing about personalizing reward programs, and disciplinary actions per cub is that you as a parent GET to take the TIME to know them, and do what's best for them. Finally, I believe they were put in our care so we can teach them, guide them, and advise them, but the most important thing we can give them is the time to let them know we genuinely love them.

But that’s just what I think…

Thanks for the help FB friends

Last month I asked my friends on Facebook to give me ideas to blog about to “inspire me” and a few of them followed through for me. I appreciate it.

Introduction

Well, I finally decided to write a blog (with some encouragement from some of my friends). I apologize now if you CHOOSE to take offense to anything I may post. This is the only time I will offer an apologize. You see I don't intentionally try to offend anyone, but I do have an amazing ability to do so.

I welcome you to my mind journey, and thank you for your interest. Maybe you'll find entertainment, advice, bits to think about, or just shake your head at my craziness, what you find is up to you. However, this blog is basically an outlet for me to get my thoughts out there for my own scrutiny, and since I have ADHD I definitely have a lot of thoughts running through my mind.

What you can expect: random thoughts, philosophy according to me, my life lessons, and MY opinions. So let's go...